February 5, 2013

If you’ve ever tried to get out of the westside on a friday night you know it’s insane. Every sidestreet leading to the 10 or the 405 is like a parking lot. If you get on the wrong street, it’ll take you 20 minutes to go one block. It’s a situation that calls for some seriously aggressive driving because you don’t want to be the one sitting in the queue wondering why you haven’t moved in 30 mins, when really it’s because one block up, the more assertive drivers keep cutting in.

So that’s the scene. We’re sitting in that kind of traffic, trying to get to a holiday party in Beverly hills before cocktail hour is over. Traffic isn’t moving, and with three kids, we really don’t want to waste our one night out in the car. So to avoid sitting at an intersection with no signal for 20 mins waiting to make a lefthand turn, my husband goes around the driver in front of us, on their RIGHT, darts in front of them and then cuts across two lanes of traffic before barely squeezing into the correct lane. I know I’m not doing this scene justice, because it was straight out of a car commercial, where they have to tell you “professional driver on a closed course, don’t try this at home”.

And as expected after pulling a stunt like that, the next thing you hear is “whoop whoop” with the flashing lights. So my husband rolls down the window, halfway. However, it wasn’t to be cool, it was just broken. Rolling the window down just a bit, to talk to the cop cam come off as belligerence. So that made me nervous – i’m very much a yes sir, i’ll just be quietly on my way sir, and thank you for not tazing me type when it comes to the cops.

so anyhow, the window was rolled down just enough to show the collar of his new, beautifully tailored brooks brothers suit. The cop looked in the window, assessed the situation and then said, “heads up, you need to drive a little more carefully.” and then he left. wait, what? “drive more carefully” for pulling a stunt that was right out of the movies???

my husband rolled the window back up, looked at me and said, I think this suit just paid for itself.

I think it did too.

Posted in: Chatter, d-Baggery
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These are my opinions as of today. I reserve the right to change my mind based on new experiences and information. And that is not flip-flopping because I'm not out here saying what I think you want to hear. I'm saying what I think, as of riiiiiight now.
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